Twitterature: Harry Potter
by Cassiopee
Summary: Imagine you are following - for some reason - most of the Harry Potter series characters on Twitter. Reading their posts, you would discover what happened durinf their studies at Hogwarts. /slight parody, summary/ R
1. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

I do not own Harry Potter. For that matter, neither do I own Twitter or the ocncept of Twitterature. I do own my own studidity and spelling/grammar mistakes, ENJOY PEOPLE AND HAPPY NEWYEAR!!!!

Unlike 'Twitterature', these are not solely the posts of the main hero but those of several character. Imagine you are following them all ... and that is what you would see on your homepage.

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**Twitterature: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone**

**HogwartsFan**

**HarryJpotter **Dursley's bday tomorrow… never gonna survive this family. One of the spiders in my cupboard died. Sad times.

**HarryJpotter **can't believe I've been to the zoo. Spoke to a snake. GOOD TIMES.

**HarryJpotter** got MAIL – like, a LOT of mail – my stupid uncle won't let me read it though. So sad…

**HarryJpotter** Uncle gone mad. We're all on stupid shaking hut. Cold… happy Bday meself.

**HagrID** **HarryJpotter** me found yeh. Yeh're a wirzard, btw: happy birthday !!!

**HarryJpotter** I'M A WIZARD and i'm going to a wiz school. So happy!! and I have a FRIEND!! soon first day of school!

**RonWeas** WOW GUESS WHO'S ON HOG XPRESS!! HARRY POTTER!!!!

**Hermy** **HarryJpotter** **RonWeas** anyone seen a toad ?

**HarryJpotter** OMG I'm famous and I'm making lots of friends. =D

**Malfoyrocks** **HarryJpotter** wanna be my friend?

**RonWeas** **malfoyrocks** you smell Malfoy

**FunkySortingHat** **HarryJpotter** wow – you're head's a mess. Oh well, Gryffindor!

**RonWeas** Gosh those classes are so difficult!

**ProfSnape** I must be doomed – potter kid is the exact replica of his *&/ of a dad

**NevilleLongB** **RonWeas** don't tell me…

**ProfSnape** **HarryJpotter** you are arrogant and utterly hopeless.

**HagrID** **HarryJpotter** wanna come have cake in my hut?

**HarryJpotter** **HagrID** sure!!! btw, what happened in Gringotts ?

**Malfoyrocks** flying lessons today!

**Malfoyrocks** **NevilleLongB** you're so fat and thick you won't be able to fly haha catch THAT !

**HarryJpotter** **Malfoyrocks** can't you just let us alone?! **NevilleLongB** don't worry I'll catch it

**MinervaMcGonagall** **HarryJpotter** in my office Potter!

**HarryJpotter** **RonWeas** don't tell anyone: I'm going to in the Quidditch team!! woohoooo

**Malfoyrocks** **HarryJpotter** come and fight me if you can

**HarryJpotter** **Malfoyrocks** get ready !

**Hermy** **HarryJpotter** **RonWeas** you can't honestly get yourselves into that?!

**Flinch3Norris** stupid students wandering in castle at night. Hate them. Bones hurt.

**RonWeas** **HarryJpotter** **Hermy** oopsy I think we ended up in the forbidden area.

**HarryJpotter** just got tracked by flinch, entered forbidden room. 3heads dog. Tweet later. If survive.

**RonWeas** we're back in common room. That was awesome! 3heads ppl!!! Dumbeldore's crazy!!!

**Hermy** **RonWeas** **HarryJpotter** are you mental? Almost got expelled!!! **RonWeas** use your brains! Dog was on a trap!

**MinervaMcGongall** **HarryJpotter** take care of the broom and, please, win us the cup!

**Malfoyrocks** 1st years are not allowed a broom!!! HATE Potter!

**Flit'n'wick** oooh my students are sooo brilliant

**RonWeas** **HarryJpotter** Granger is such an obnoxious know-it-all nobody likes!

**Hermy** **RonWeas** Twitter posts are OPEN CONTENT you --- heartless prat!

**1/2Quirrel** **AlbusGotLemon** TROOOOOOOOOLL !!!!!

**HarryJpotter** **RonWeas** Hermione's in danger! We have to help her

**HarryJpotter** running on Hogwarts to save friend from mountain troll. Dangerous and exciting. Tweet again if survive.

**HarryJpotter** **Tr0l** hey – boys don't hit girls.

**Hermy** saved by Ron and Harry. Guess they don't hate me after all. Told ProfMcGongall it was my fault. Happy I have friend. Happy I'm good at school. Gnight Tweets

**HarryJpotter** I am so sure Snape is actually evil. He got the Troll and the dog to kill me. Don't ask why.

**Malfoyrocks** quidditch sucked. Too bad potter didn't die. Would have been fun.

**RonWeas** Harry so rocks! Won the Quidditch play! So glad I'm his best pal!

**HagrID** **HarryJpotter** tea at mine?

**Hermy** **HadrID** Snape is evil and tried to kill harry. We need help! He got a three-head dog to do it!

**HardID** **Hermy** na, Fluffy kind. He's just doing good job keeping Flamel's thing for director.

**HagrID **oops

**RonWeas** woohoo I love xmass!

**SecretLemon** **HarryJpotter** cloak was your father's. Make good use. (Have fun)

**HarryJpotter** wow cool mirror is showing me my parents! Never going to leave this room!

**AlbusGotLemon** **HarryJpotter** yes you will. Be brave. Aw, have a cookie – or Sherbet Lemon

**Hermy** wow amazing day at the library – Flamel is the inventor of the philosopher's stone (incults: google it!)

**HarryJpotter** Snape will definitely kill me. I just know it. He's waiting for the match. WHY ME?

**RonWeas** wow he won the game AGAIN!!!!

**HarryJpotter** Snape threatening Quirell. Knows about the stone. Up to no good. Just knew it!

**HagrID** iz a DADDY Norbert is so cute!!! Btw, students are too curious…

**Flinch3Norris** Got the student. Potter&co in deep trouble and detentions and points loss. MADE MY DAY!!!

**HarryJpotter** I should keep quite but I just know Snape is evil!

**Hermy** oh Merlin, my first detention ever. Stuck with malfoy. Harry and ron are here too.

**RonWeas** detention is dangerous – forbidden forest! How creepy!

**Malfoyrocks** my Father is so going to hear that. Hate them all.

**HarryJpotter** saw a dead bicorn -blood sucked by a shadow. Shadow was Voldemort. Centor rescued me. Life is so exciting!

**HarryJpotter** second thought, Voldemort might be here to kill me. And he knows how to get the stoooone! Not that fun. Bet Snape's in it. Oh crap!

**HarryJpotter** **Hermy** **RonWeas** we have to go get the stone before Snape! Otherwise we're al dead!

**HarryJpotter** just got in the room with the dog. Music made him sleep. Going down. tweet later.

**RonWeas** Bookworms can be useful. Saved us from crazy plant. Bless her. Harry got us the key to go through another door. We all gonna die anyway. Tweet later

**Hermy** Ron is a hero: he risked his life to allow us go further hope he's fine. Hope we'll survive.

**HarryJpotter** wow Hermione and Ron risked their life for me! Amazing friends and so clever! Better get the stupid stone!

**1/2Quirrel** **HarryJpotter** surprise! Too bad you're gonna die so young. But first the stone!

**IamLordVoldemort** **HarryJpotter** the stone!

**HarryJpotter** can't believe it's my pocket and what the effin' hell is this mirror doing here! Uh-oh, might get kill. Farewell. tweets.

**1/2Quirrel** **HarryJpotter** suffer!!!!

**AlbusGotLemon** **HarryJpotter** hello, had a nice sleep? It was a tough fight, I reckon.

**HarryJpotter** **AlbusGotLemon** I guess I'd need some explanations. And snape…?

**AlbusGotLemon** **HarryJpotter** long story short: Voldemort tried to kill you. Coulnd't thx to your mum's love. PROFSnape hated your father and hates you now. But we won

**PercivalWeasely** can't believe we won the house cup! I am so happy!

**Hermy** woohoo top class!! This year was amazing, looking forward to next. See you then tweets

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Enjoyed? hated?

alright, you do the thing: REVIEW :) thanks^^


	2. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Hello everyone, so here's the second book in a twitter fashion. Since the 'at' sign would not work when published, I just wrote 'at/' before the pseudo of the adressee.

Of course, twitter did not existed at that time and they wouldn't all have iPhones or such but for the fun of it, I just really didn't bothered taking 'believable' into account.

Also, hav fuuuuu while reading this. next book shall be published quicker.

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**Twitterature: **

_**Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets**_

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**at/HogwartsFan**

**HarryJPotter** duh, stupid summer, stupid family, boredom, stupid dinner. Pretending not to exist. What if I accidentally actually disappear? Lolz

**Dobby** **at/HarryJPotter** You musn't go to the Hogwarts this year! You're life is in danger!

**HarryJpotter** **at**/**Dobby** like that's a news. Don't care I'm going!

**HarryJpotter** life sucks. Freaky house elf got the Drus' mad at me. In deep trouble. Imprisoned in my room. Can't use magic. WHY ME?

**RonWeas** **at/HarryJpotter** yo mate, what's up? Me and my bros are gonna free you! Get ready!

**HarryJpotter** wow fantastic summer at the Weasley's. Went to DiagonAlley. Met weird celeb future DADA teacher and Malfoy senior. Crap.

**HarryJpotter** WHAT THE EFFIN' HELL?! Platform closed before we could get on. On a flying car with **at/RonWeas**. Tweet later if survive.

**RonWeas** almost got killed by a tree when landing the flying car. Survived. Not expelled. Detentions though.

**IamBeautiful** **at/HarryJpotter** I know it is difficult not to be centre of attention now I'm here but a flying car was a bad idea.

**RonWeas** **at/IamBeautiful** lol Lockhart

**MalfoyRocks** Am Slytherin's Seeker AND Father got us all new broomsticks. Die Gryffindor! Die!

**Malfoyrocks** **at/Hermy** haha Mudblood!

**HarryJpotter** hearing voices is bad sign right? Even for wizards? Oh crap what now?

**Flinch3Norris** the one who DARED petrify my beloved Miss Norris is going to die in horrible sufferings!!! :'(

**HogwartsWorstNightmare** MUDBLOOD WILL BE FIRST

**HarryJpotter** **at/RonWeas** **at/Hermy** I am so sure Malfoy is behind all that crap!

**Hermy** how interesting, 50 years a secret chamber was opened and a student killed? Is it all linked? Who's the Heir of Slytherin?! Tweet again when we know more.

**RonWeas** wooohoooooo he won the match AGAIN! In your face **at/Malfoyrocks**! Well, he's at the nursery because of a bludger gone mad 0o. Snape?Malfoy?!

**HarryJpotter** really didn't need a house elf wanting me disabled… plus another kid got paralysed. Sounds bad.

**RonWeas** Lockhart opened a duelling class LMAO! Got his arse kicked by Snape. Good showmen!

**HarryJpotter** spoke parsletongue and am now believed to be slytherin's heir… I mean, honestly! I just FOUND the bodies! And WHY is it always ME?!

**Hermy** **at/RonWeas** **at/HarryJpotter** got an idea! Let's brew Polyjuice and sneak on Malfoy he must now who's the heir!

**RonWeas** HAHAHA Hermione turned into a CAT!!! Bad luck. We're going sneak on the snake!

**HarryJpotter**. Malfoy's not the heir. Doesn't know who is. Frustrated! It so NOT me for Merlin's sake!

**HarryJpotter** found Moaning Myrtle's diary. Responds to what you write. Writer is Tom Riddle

**Hermy at/HarryJpotter** Tom Riddle is the one who accused Hagrid of havng openend the Chamber 50 years ago! How intriguing!

**RonWeas** crapcrapcrap Hermione got pertified too! What are we gonna do if we don't have the team's brains!!!

**HarryJpotter** **at/RonWeas** Hermione had a note on her head about a basilisk! bless her! Big bad snake. Must be the culprit! Who the hell summoned it?!

**RonWeas** NOOOOO! Little sis got taken into the Chamber!!! I just KNEW she would be trouble!!!! HarryJpotter HELP!

**RonWeas** lol Lockhart crused himself. Have to get him out. Crap. Hope Harry will save Ginny!!!

**HarryJpotter** In the chamber now. Oops Ginny unconscious. Tweet later if survive.

**TomRiddle** **at/HarryJpotter** btw, in case you didn't figure that out already. I am Lord Voldemort. (and **at/HogwartsWorstNightmare**) And I cursed the little chick.

**HarryJPotter** oops. Never gonna survive. Uh… anybody sees this tweet HELP!!!! **at**/**AlbusGotLemon** HELP!!!

**GinGinWeas** [longer tweet ] WOW Harry is such a HERO! Saved MY LIFE! killed the basilics! Killed the diary! Killed You-know-Who junior version of himself. Got help of a PHOENIX and got the Sorting Hat to produce a SWORD and knows how to handle a it! This was SEXY!!! Gory fight and so exciting! I AM IN LOOOOOVE

**HarryJpotter** **at**/**AlbusGotLemon** uh… Ginny's post makes a pretty much complete summary. Except I didn't kell the snake, Fwakes did. I just finished it off with the Sword you send me.

**LuciusMalfoy** **at/AlbusGotLemon** This is unacceptable!

**Dobby** WEEHEEEEEEEE Harry Potter freed Dobby! Dobby got a sock! Dobby is so 'appy!!!!

**RonWeas** YAY FOR HOLIDAYS

**DobbyIzFree** DOBBY LOVES HAPPY ENDINGS!!!!

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though I am aware that there is no great display of art and skills in such a ridiculous - yet fun - project, i should appreciate reviews very very much!

aaaaaaand also, since this about twitter, i have a twitter account for ff purpose so if you want to know why the hell am i so slow at publishing the next chap. follow me: TatianaCassy ^^


	3. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

hello dear readers here is the 3rd book in a twitter fashion. i tried not to turn it into a too much of a parody but... it's going to get harder and harder.

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Twitterature:

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

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**at/HogwartsFan**

**HarryJPotter** oh my! got fab presents for my bday!!! Thx mates! btw, anyone heard about prisonner excape? Scary!

**HarryJpotter** on the KnightBus- got scared by a dog. Lolz. And kind of inflated Aunt M. No. One. Insults. My. Parents!!!

**HarryJpotter** Staying at the Leacky Cauldron. Got special visit from Minister – would seem inflating aunts isn't a crime. lucky me.

**RonWeas** **at/HarryJpotter** yo mate, seen the new firebolt? Wicked, eh? up to strolling up and down Diagon?

**RonWeas** **at/Hermy** if this ugly thing you call a cat kills my rat –!!!

**HarryJpotter** oh, so Sirius Black is after me too. That's just brilliant. And tat annoying and boring and don't I have enough problems and psychos after me?!

**RJLupin** On HogwartsXpress – same compartment as Harry: he *does* look like his father!! Thinks I'm sleeping heh.

**RJLupin** Dementors on the train – bad omen. Gave the kid chocolate – he'll be fine.

**HarryJpotter** Not sure I believe in divination nonsense but still – the grim is a dog and description sounds like the thing I saw at the Dusrley's.

**Malfoyrocks** can't believe a half-giant is TEACHING! And almost got me killed by a hyppogriff. My father is not going to like it!

**HarryJpotter** **at/RJLupin** is a good teacher but it's UNFAIR I couldn't get to fight a boggart! Still, High five to **at/NevilleLongB**: LMAO!

**RJLupin** **at/HarryJpotter** I didn't think I ought to have the student see You Know Who – even if only in a boggart appaition.

**HarryJpotter** **at/RJLupin** ah. Ok. Don't think him any scarier than dementors tho.

**ProfSnape** **at/RJLupin** Potion's ready. Try not to forget it.

**HarryJpotter** – Black broke into the castle, destroyed FatLady's portrait we had to sleep in the Great Hall. Bollocks.

**RonWeas** Harry lost consciousness during match coz of friggin' dementors. Why the hell would they be allowed inside Hogwart's perimeter?!

**HarryJpotter** as if dementors (WHY do they do that to me anyway?) and a grim is not bad enough, my broomstick got SMASHED! ;_;

**RJLpuin** **at/HarryJpotter** well, that would be because it makes you remember your particularly sombre past, Harry.

**ForgeNGredWeas** **at/HarryJpotter** yo mate, we have what you need! The **at/MaraudersMap** –go to Hogsmead and owe us 4ever!

**HarryJpotter** woohoo I'm so off there. Minister's there, shouldn't spy on hum but oh, to hell with it!

**HarryJpotter** ARGH! Sirius effin' Black was THEIR FRIEND AND BETRAYED THEM!!!! HE IS SO DEAD ALREADY! Btw, he's my godfather, too.

**HagrID** **at/HarryJpotter** Buckbeak will be put to trial. It's so unfair! ………

**HarryJpotter** wow I had a FIREBOLT for Xmass!!! wooooohoooooooOOOOOOoooooo

**Hermy** **at/HarryJpotter** wait a serial killer is after you, you receive a anonymous gift and don't ask yourself questions?! BOYS! Off to McGonagall!

**HarryJpotter** started special anti dementors tutorial with prof Lupin. Not really managing anything with my partonus -.-''

**ProfMcGonagall** **at/HarryJpotter** – the Firebolt is safe (PS: win the match!)

**RonWeas** **at/Hermy** YOUR CAT KILLED SCABBERS YOU ARE SO D.E.A.D!!!!!

**HarryJpotter** YAY won the maaaaatch agaaaaaaaain!!! =D **at/ProfMcGonagall** ;)

**RonWeas** WHY would crazy Black would want to kill ME?! He ragged my bed curtains!

**HagrID** **at/RonWeas** **at/HarryJpotter** you shouldn't be bad to **at/Hermy**. For the broom – she was worried and did right. For the cat – well, it's nature.

**ProfSnape** got potter up to no good and will give him detention for possession of weird parchment,

**MaraudersMap** **at/ProfSnape** greasy git! Bwahahahaha!

**RJLupin** **at/ProfSnape** bad sense of humour is no reason for detention. **at/HarryJpotter** give that map to me, and stop being so reckless: your parents wouldn't like you to.

**Hermy** **at/RonWeas** **at/HarryJpotter** could we stop fighting for Hagrid's sake? Buckbeak execution's set.

**Hermy** AAH! STRESSED OUT! Alright – divination is NONESENSE I am QUITTING! Malfoy's a PRICK so I SLAPPED him – SERVES HIM GOOD!

**RonWeas** wow – Slytherin were worse than usual and more obvious at cheating but we still WON!

**The3rdEye** **at/HarryJpotter** you-know-who's servent will return before midniiiiight!!!

**HarryJpotter** **at/Hermy** **at/RonWeas** Execution tomorrow. We better go to Hagrid's. poor him.

**Hermy** **at/RonWeas** ha! SEE! Scabber's not dead!!!

**Hermy** oh nonono Ron got attacked by a dog and is taken under the Womping Willow!!! We're on to help him – Crookshanks opened a secret passage!

**HarryJpotter** In the shrieking shack. The dog is Black. Gonna KILL HIM!!!!

**RJLupin** on my way to the Shack: the Truth shall be known at last!

**PadsOnDaRun** **at/RJLupin** Moony!!! So good to know you're OK and you know the truth, let's kill the rat, shall we?!

**Hermy** What THE--?! Tweet later.

**RJLupin** [longer tweet] dear tweets: I am a werewolfe but quite inoffensive thanks to professor Snape's potion. When we were at Hogwarts, my friends – James Potter, Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black – became animagi to stay with me during Full Moons. Things got bad and Lily and James were in danger – when everyone thought Sirius was their Guardian, he actually wasn't Peter was and betrayed them, Sirius got accused wrongly. Now all shall be well!

**Hermy** can't believe we stunned a teacher. Oh my, oh my!

**HarryJpotter** on our way back to Hogwarts. all is well. Happy ending ahead!!!

**PadsOnDaRun** woopsie. Wolfie's back. yay fun! Tweet later when mastered the beast!

**HarryJpotter** shoot! Dementors – sirius in trouble. Tweet later if survive. Doubtful.

**HarryJpotter** just woke up. My father saved me. Don't ask. Minister thinks Sirius's guilty and wants dementors to give him the Kiss. Gotta save him.

**AlbusGotLemon** **at/Hermy** **at/HarryJpotter** It would be a shame to lose two innocents. How grand it would be to be able to go back on time ;)

**Hermy** went back with **at/HarryJpotter** – managed to get Buckbeak. First step completed. Excited.

**HarryJpotter** – heh, wasn't my father, 'twas me^^. My Patronus is just AWESOME btw! It's PRONGS =D

**PadsOnDaRun** wow my Godson's got style – flew a hyppogriff to save me! Such his father's son! :')

**RJLupin** – I guess I better leave teaching. Was too tedious anyway. Aw… I'll indulge in a chocolate ^^

**AlbusGotLemon** **at/HarryJpotter** aw, have a Sherbet Lemon and don't you worry – Sirius is going to be just fine!

**PadsOnDaRun** **at/HarryJpotter** hey boy, just so you know Buck n me are ok and you'll be able to go legally to Hogs' next year! Cool, eh? Btw the Firebolt *is* from me but it's also *safe*

**HarryJpotter** oh my! That was the best hogwart's year ever! Not only did I not had to fight Voldemort BUT I found family members^^ aw me!

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enjoyed? hated? want me to keep writing it? that way? more humour? less? .... REVIEEEEEEEEW^^

and still - want to know more about the latest ff updates ect - follow me on twitter - TatianaCassy :D


	4. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

dear all, thank you very much for the reviews - here is the book 4!

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**Twitterature**:

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

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**IamLordVoldemort** at/**Wormtail** We are going to kill Harry Potter! Whoot!

**HarryJpotter** **at/PadsOnDaRun** made a weird dream. Voldemort talking to wormtail and planning to kill me. Scar hurts. Should I get worry ?

**ArthurWeasley** **at/DursleyFamily** w3 ar3 com1ng t0 f3tch h4rr7. 1s 1t 0k w1th y0u?

**RonWeas** Lmao! Muggles blocked the chimney – they really didn't want us in! Win at/**ForgNGredWeas** for the tongue-ingorging toffee!

**HarryJpotter** wow am at the burrow now! the whole family is here: they're all awesome!

**RonWeas** YAAAAAY we are SO going to the QuidditchWorldCup !!!!! XD!

**Hermy** on my way the QuidditchWC with **at/HarryJpotter** and the Weasley's. really excited. Met Diggory – eye candy!

**FrogNGredWeas** Woo we won the bet – Ireland won but Viktor caught the Snitch!!! We rock! We SO rock!

**HarryJpotter** crap, evilwizards set up an attack. Lost my wand. Lost the others. Gotta run. tweet ltr if srvv!

**Hermy** how could s.o. be so MEAN to House elves!!! Afraid of heights & NOT. GUILTY!

**Hermy** Dark mark in the sky, Ministry Mayhem, muggles got tortured, intruders in ministry officals' house… brilliant beginnings!

**RonWeas** just received school supplies. Robes are abject. Not my fault if I grow up!

**AlbusGotLemon** Dear All, in this times of dark dangers – let's have some more but of a brighter kind. TRIWIZARD TOURNEMENT

**RonWeas** Rofl MadEye is friggin' awesome, turned **at/Malfoyrocks** into a BUMPING FERRET hahaHAHAHAHaha

**MaDeYe** so programme today – unforgivable hehe so we have one to kill, one to control and one to torture (I love this job)

**Hermy** OK we gotta take action: I founded #S.P.E.W. Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare – join!!! (there's an fb group too^^)

**HarryJpotter** – getting better at resisting Imperius. Could be useful against… snape (?) didn't anything YET this year but I know he's EVIL

**AlbusGotLemon** Dear All, they arrived!!! Our dear friends from Beauxbâtons and Durmstrang (make friends!!! -allies)

**RonWeas** VIKTOR KRUM IS HERE!!! HE IS SO COOL THAT HE'S TOTALLY AWESOME!!!

**FrogeNGred** aw, too bad it didn't work – anyway, Hogwarts rules, we'll win – we take bets from 4 to 7, great hall.

**AlbusGotLemon** Dear All, let's see who are the champions – don't you all love the suspense?

**GobletOfFire** sooo… **at/ViktorKrum**, **at/Fleure1/2Vela** and **at/CedDiggory**! Enjoy kids! Whoopsie, wait, a **at/HarryJpotter** too.

**HarryJpotter** they must be kidding – honestly! Can't I just quit? I swear it wasn't me! Oh, damn!

**AlbusGotLemon** this something I wasn't quite expecting… well, sorry **at/HarryJpotter**, no way you can quit…

**RonWeas **– yeah, sure, like that's a surprise – the surprise is **at/HarryJpotter** can still walk through the GreatHall door!

**HarryJpotter** I did NOT do it – oh, now it's gonna be the Slytherin Heir story all over again, yeah?

**MeMyselfNI** So – HarryJpotter quite a hero for a 12 year old boy, you're gonna be front page boy!

**HagrID** come and have a walk with me, there's a beautiful view *caughdragoncaugh*

**PadsOnDaRun** yo at/**HarryJpotter** : Karkaroff was a death Eater but Moody is a friggin brilliant Auror so you're fine – and FUN! Merlin: triwizard!! WHOOT

**HarryJpotter** at/**CedDiggory** you might want to know that dragons await us…

**MaDeYe** **at/HarryJpotter** that was chivalric, now since you're not that gifted, you should take your broom.

**Hermy** – thankfully, Harry now manages the summon charm… and WOW HE'S DOING IT!!!

**RonWeas** **HarryJpotter** ok… I know… I was wrong… friends?

**RonWeas** oh, bugger, a BALL… now that's ridiculous. Well, **at/Hermy** care to go with me?

**HarryJpotter** at/**ChoChang** hey howaya? Wondering if you kind of would want to be my, uh, date for the ball?

**Hermy** **at/RonWeas** Sod off: it so happens someone already asked me. Goodlooking someone.

**Hermy** haha hope the poor Patil twins will enjoy !

**RonWeas** Viktor effin Krum is her DATE ?! **at/Hermy** TRAITOOOOR! hypocrite slag!!!

**HarryJpotter** – aw, I'll never love again, she broke my heart…

**CedDiggory** at/**HarryJpotter** hey, thx for the dragon-tip and sorry for Cho but I'm clearly the best. You should have a bath with the egg.

**Hermy** **HagrID** aw, you know you're not dangerous and that skeeter is a … well, bad person. And you're a GOOD teacher!

**HarryJpotter** so the egg said I should claim something precious into the lake. I mean the LAKE – there's a GIANT SQUID in it! (amongst worst things)

**MaDeYe** gods, potter kid is daft almost caught stealing by Snape. Well, Now I got a most interesting map niakniakniak

**DobbyIzFree** **at/HarryJpotter** gillyweed is the way to survive the bad lake. Win, harry potter!

**AlbusGotLemon** – aw, the kid is brave! Saved his friend and the little Delacour! Let him have more points, he's cute!

**MeMyselfNEye** - **at/Hermy** toying with **at/HarryJpotter** and **at/ViktorKrum** that's an ambitious girl!

**Karkaroff** **ProfSnape** it returned, you cannot ignore it!

**PadsOnDaRun** **at/HarryJpotter** so, Crouch Jr was a death eater and senior disappeared. Could please bring me proper food if u drop by?

**Hermy** oh and now I'm getting hate-mails…. No, I broke NO HEART so far… might break a few noses, though…

**ViktorKrum** **at/HarryJpotter** r u interested with Hermini?!

**HarryJpotter** – found mad Crouch, **at/AlbusGotLemon** we kind of need you here…

**HarryJpotter** **at/AlbusGotLemon**, oh and Pomefrey, coz **at/ViktorKrum** just got stunned.

**PadsOnDaRun** **at/HarryJpotter** ooch, 3rd task looks pretty dangerous – you better practice. But you're your father's son so it's all cool :D

**HarryJpotter** – got another dream. In Dumbeldore's office and there's a shiney thingy. Shouldn't touch but oh, well…

**AlbusGotLemon** **at/HarryJpotter** this is a pensieve. And Voldemort is getting stronger, methinks.

**Hermy** Going to kill Skeeter. Evening Tweets: third task begun, **at/Fleur1/2Vela** is out and so is poor **at/ViktorKrum**. Fingers crossed for **at/HarryJpotter**!

**CedDiggory** in the Maze only me and **at/HarryJpotter** – just both took the cup. In a weird place. tweet later!

**HarryJpotter** …if survive…

**Wormtail** – just killed one of the kids. We got potter. Blood, bones and flesh and he shall rise: Reward and fame at last!

**IamLordVoldemort** So good to be back! So, where were we? Oh yes, killing potter! But first, reunion **at/DeathEaters **come, minions!

**James&Lily** **at/HarryJpotter** Wow That's a cool move – good fighter, boy! Well, now you gotta let go and run. We love you!

**Hermy **– Cedric dead- Harry hurt but ok. With Moi'mody. Dear Merlin…Sad day, tweets :'(

**MaDeYe** haha he is sooo back!!! So, **at/HarryJpotter **I put your NAME in the GOBLET haha, weren't expecting this, yeah?

**AlbusGotLemon** **at/ProfSnape** take some Truth Serum, Moody isn't Moody – off to his office, teachers!

**MaDeYe** Yes I am a villain, took polyjuice too, got out of prison, lived invisibly – winkey knew and I killed Jorkins when she discovered and dad.

**AlbusGotLemon** **at/HarryJpotter**, your wand's and Voldemort are twins, hence the connection and your parents…

**AlbusGotLemon **minister is closing his eyes, it is going to be more difficult than I thought… Dear All, Voldemort is back – let's remember Cedric and give sense to his death

**Hermy** I GOT her – Skitter is an illegal animagus – beetle! **at/MeMyselfNI** annoy any of us and your secret is OUT!

**ForgeNGred **thx to **at/HarryJpotter** we're gonna work harder on pranks!! Thx mate!

**HarryJpotter** back to the durselys… dread this summer already…

* * *

BONUS: i'm really struggelin not to make to much of a parody, but couldn't resist these three:

**RonWeas** oh, bugger, a BALL… now that's ridiculous. Well, **at/Hermy** care to go with me?

**HarryJpotter** at/**ChoChang** hey howaya? Wondering if you kind of would want to be my, uh, date for the ball? Say yes, I'm HARRY POTTER!

**Hermy** **at/RonWeas** Sod off: it so happens someone already asked me. Goodlooking someone. Not you. Goodlooking and actually someone.

**Hermy** haha hope the poor Patil twins will enjoy! Sad girls. well well... let's go spend some quality time with my secret date ;)

**Hermy** at/**HagrID** aw, you know you're not dangerous and that skeeter is a … well, bad person. And you're a GOOD teacher! (god, what one has to say!)

**HarryJpotter** so the egg said I should claim something precious into the lake. I mean the LAKE – there's a GIANT SQUID in it! (amongst worst things)

**AlbusGotLemon** **HarryJpotter**, carefull with him - you mustn't give him toast, he's on diet! Poor ol' Squiddy!

**IamLordVoldemort** So good to be back! So, where were we? Oh yes, killing potter! But first, reunion **at/DeathEaters **come, minions!

**Bella3HerLord** He is back!!!!!! Can't wait to see him he is sooo dark!!!

**James&Lily** **at/HarryJpotter** Wow That's a cool move – good fighter, boy! Well, now you gotta let go and run. Fun!

**James&Lily **that's why i didn't want a shared account on twitter - no it's no fun. at/**HarryJpotter** Take care, sweet heart! We love you!

**

* * *

**so well, more humour? less? just that way? **reviews** appreciated^^(and if unbearable grammar mistakes - except Krum's - tell me I'll correct it^^)

Love,

C.**  
**


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